Of turning 82!!

I have a thousand little silly nicknames at home (although I wont divulge any more embarrassing nicknames than what the picture reveals); and they show up in random order on my birthday cakes at home.


Not this time.


I turned a million recently and was indeed made aware in a not so subtle (yet funny) way by my Mom.
The cake was addressed to 'Rajat' - I used to fight when I was actually younger when the cake was addressed to some 'Babloo' or other thousand people I didn't know of.
'Rajat' felt odd. And,also I was now turning 82 and not 28 ! Yikes!.

I always joked on my birthday- that I'm getting real old - that I will retire soon - that I need a new health insurance, knowing all too well at the back of my mind that I AM NOT actually getting old and I indeed have loads ....loads of time left....left for what?.ANYTHING!
Until now....

I dig back and find this post of mine(damn near 6 years back).
"
If you get up and don.t feel a nagging pain somewhere or dread, either you are young or better yet dead!.
That meant I was OLD.And I am 22 years OLD , not young.!

Coming back to MY bed(which prompted this web log)....
When I wake up (which i eventually do) from MY own bed I no longer feel dread or a nagging pain anywhere(which I never did ,fortunately).
So what could be the explanation???
Bed bugs of-course!! Friendly ones at that!

Shashi Taroor said he took stock of his life on his 30th B'day......hmmmmm...maybe I still have time.Or maybe I should read the book 'Life begins @ 40!'. Whatever the case I have time .
Like I care , need I?
"
Dated: 3/8/08. ( http://rajatscribbles.blogspot.in/2008/03/of-bed-bugs-and-beds.html )

This makes me happy that this blog is serving its purpose....its sole purpose .....for ME...to remind ME of ME ...
I digress.

So...Here I am...all of 28 ...thinking ....(not exactly worrying -not yet)....thinking....would things really be 'sorted' out by 30?.
Would Jose Mourinho hire me as his assistant by then ?
Would my debut novel be out and be an instant hit and I would land a 7 figure new book deal?
Would I be my nephew Yash's manager and he goes on to be this great football player?
(mind you , he already plays for a football club ..... I could be his Uncle Tony ...he just needs be be my Nephew Nadal....)
Would be stuck in the same job...in the same floor...in the same cubicle.....?
Would I start to care of about earning money?
Would I not care much about my job and run home early to my Wife......?
wait ....its getting scarier...again I digress!..I rather stop.

A part of me (a very large part) 'thinks' it still has a got loads of time. But a small part is beginning to have doubts....
Doubts...forced upon by:

Married Friends - yes ,most of the 'gang' no longer exist in singular form.
Married friends to me : " Come on man , what are you running away from! You have to get married sometime ...there is a shortage of good girls..."
Large part of my brain to me: "Haha ...morons ....they are trapped ...they want to trap me as well. I am a free bird, and this bird you cannot cage!"
Small part of my brain to me : "Dude....what if they say is true ...listen to them ...they are your friends after-all"

Single friends- oh the ever shrinking population.
Single friends to me- "why aren't you biting the bullet yet..what are you waiting for ? to become CEO of your company? "
Large part of my brain to me : "Idiots...don't know how to relax being alone ....look at me - I work when I want,how much I want , play tennis,spend on expensive watches ...I am awesome."
Small part of my brain to me: "listen douche! These people are getting married and settled before you and you know it...you are going to die alone!"

My neighbors to me: "Did your mom find you a nice girl eh?Till when you will make them live alone"
Large part of my brain to me :"Tell them some story of you in a live in relationship in Bangalore,that'll shut 'em up!"
Small part of the brain to me : "Just smile and wave boy.....just smile and wave."

Work Friends to me- "you bought a house? when you getting married?"
And I have to invent a story of heartbreak and a fake past which ended in me being betrayed by her. This lame attempt impresses no one.
Fake?Real? I am not going to admit anything ....keep guessing.....come on we all know the truth...or do you really???

Although I have joked aplenty on me quitting (retiring!) from my job...I always meant it...I do seriously think of retiring early.
(retire into what? - read some of the above lines again for what I hope to retire into....)

Based on my calculations,on the amount of money, I would need for I don't know what, I can retire in about 5 years after I would have been officially made to retire at 65 !
hmmm....bummer....

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.-
Oliver Wendell Holmes







I have done a lot of stupid things but being an adult is probably the dumbest thing I have ever done.

Yet,By and large I still can indeed make fun of myself.

Until 29.......!

The times they are a-changin' .... perhaps not

'Do you want cell with warranty or without warranty?' enquired the watch repairman. It was the same man sitting in the same shop for what seemed like forever. It seemed to me like this shop always existed and the person behind it was always there to repair watches. I've been coming here to this shop from what 15 years?!?.
With the same customary exchange of lines , I collected the repaired watches ( with 1 year warranty on cell).
Only this time I enquired 'Your name sir?'.
'Dhaani' he responded
I wanted to ask him of his experience , of his patience of being in the same service , in the same shop ,repairing watches . Did he love watches ? had he changed the color of the wall of his shop ? and why of all hadn't the period of the warranty for the watch cell not changed ? (still only one year )
'Thank you' was all I could muster. 

Perhaps our minds are meant to perceive change very easily. We look for change. We crave change. We seldom do appreciate something that stays the same. There must be a catch surely !. Was he a government spy gathering information on the surrounding businessmen?......my thoughts drifted away.

Later in the day I observed the guy who serves soda /ice cream near the market - yes, same guy that has always been there.
The local librarian - same. His assistant - same!

There are so many things that I would like NEVER to change. Not that we are powerless to change them and have accepted the way they are. But because it is so much easier that way. The things that are taken for granted. These are things were we notice the change very easily.

'Baa Baa black sheep , have you any wool' rendered my niece to me over the phone.
I didn't wonder whether the nursery rhymes industry has changed or not. I just took comfort that I could respond back to her
'Yes ,sir. Yes , Sir. Three bags full!'

There are some things that does not change for a large part of our lives.
And thank heavens for that.!

Cheerio !

Of all the Nothings!

Oh well , when I look back at the old posts they are indeed serving their purpose. Reminding me of the old times.


Of how lame/stupid/erratic or downright brilliant I 'was' when i penned that entry.This ofcourse depends on when I read those old posts and yes they were indeed lame/stupid/erratic or downright brilliant!.

Then again , this is 2012 and there isn't an entry ....yet.


So ,here I am ,penning down an lame/stupid/erratic or downright brilliant web log entry.

So whats it going to be about ? NOTHING.! nothing ? yes,NOTHING.! (remember 'The Pitch' from Seinfeld ??).

Because the year has been about just that - NOTHING. Well , something might have happened at the office .....

something might have happened on the way...on the way to someplace ....something?....nope....NOTHING.


Hmm....or is it that those 'something' dont warrent a mention. Hence those 'something' remain 'nothing'.

Perhaps ,I should indeed pen down those 'something' which are infact 'nothing' because if I dont pen them down I wouldn't remember them.?

No. surely I wouldn't need to recollect events as it were. If an event meant something I would remember it just the way it was/were/is. (Disclaimer : plenty of events that did indeed mean more than something - but I have no trouble recollecting those events/conversations {smiles}. Its the bad ones I have trouble recollecting. -so far so good.!)


So,Am I going to do something about all this nothings !?. I try; trust me I do. Till now ,however,and sadly at that , those something I do about those nothing have all come to nothing. Sounds familiar ? Perhaps.
Nothing more ,nothing less.


Happiness is indeed short term stupid self-interest (as aptly put by a certain Mr Bill Watterson). It is this stupid self interest which perhaps would mean absolutely nothing in the long (or not so far even) run that perhaps i am looking for. but ...but...

one shouldn't know(surely!) that the pursuit is of 'stupid' self interest to start with.


Ofcourse there is no rocket science anymore;even the rocket scientist perhaps no longer do any 'rocket' science.

Its just that- if the short term stupid self interest doesn't seem 'stupid' at that time .....
oh how B-E-A-utiful life can be.......

A case of the blues....

"What I do not get is why people are running behind things that really do not matter in the long run"

"Oh boy...here we go again. Looks like you got a case of the blues myte ....cheer up !"


"No, I mean ...Seriously !...and I don't even mean in the far future ; but things that are really obsolete in the very near future to be"


"Everything is situational isn't it ?"


"Yes, it is....but....should it be ? You see people always worry the same amount. Take me for example : I cannot believe some 5-6 years back I worried about stuff such as some dipshyte college exams! "


"You always worry too much!"


"No...its always the same... the worry topics have changed that’s all."


"Life is but replacing one worry with another"


"Yes ...that’s the point! ...and that is what’s sad.....depressing even!. I look into the past and there have always been worries .... its not the worry that worries me...but the fact that it all seems so lame now that gets my goat"


"So..... you shouldn't have worried then because they wouldn't have mattered in the long run?"


"No...not that ....given everything is indeed situational...it must've really mattered at that time...but the question is 'should it have mattered?' "


"You should have a check on your ol' uncle n'Ed once!. One can only really answer that question if they know what is going to happen in the long run."


"Yes; you are right 'm afraid. With an unknown future the present is always tricky"


"So the point the you are getting ticked off on such things is that you have a set 'plan' "


"No....err...first ; stopping saying 'plan'. It ticks me off when someone makes a gesture for grammar quotes with their hands. I mean whats that for anyway !"


"Ok....so you got 'everything' figured out and 'nothing' ticks you off...."


"Yes; one more thing that ticks me off....smart @$$ sarcasm!"


"In all seriousness....there is NO grand design ; all are not born to fulfil some prophecy ; to accomplish something or the other ; there is NO great purpose ....mediocrity is the order of the day. "
 < bangs fist on the table >


"Woah ....Looks like you got a case of the blues myte ....cheer up ! "


P.S: If he existed I would have killed him.!

The Hungarian

We were on the way to Paris. The train was wobbling away from Munich at a slumber pace.
As exciting are the train journeys in India; as much boring they are elsewhere.

I realized (sadly) that there was not going to be any 'chaiii chaiiii' (Tea) selling attendant in the train.
I eventually decided to explore around a bit. Took a left and started moving forward (opposite to the direction of the moving train). The doors at the end of each coach were opened on the press of a red button near the side of the door.

After some 5 coaches the next door refused to open completely. I tired some 5-6 times and it opened just one third of the frame.
Can i squeeze through it? Let me see...naa...if only just a little more wide perhaps.
With nothing else to do I went back to my coach for some shut eye.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Woke up around 7.....what happened in the night you ask??? That’s a total new blog entry!!!!

Took a right and continued my search for 'chaii'. Paris was still some 2 hours away. After some 3-4 coaches was obstructed by a lady who was struggling with her luggage. I stood behind her and didn't even mutter as much as an 'excuse me'. (For the pathway was only big enough for one)

After a while she looked back, saw me and apologetically said "Bocsánat" (buchaaarnot?)
 [Pronounced "bochanot", Hungarian word for 'Sorry', 'Excuse me'].
Immediately my mind went to the sitcom "Mind your language" to the character of Zoltan Szabo. Sooo lost in thought at hearing this was I , that I didn't even noticed that the lady was nearly hugging the side of the train and lifting her luggage over her head so as to let me pass.

"Sorry", I said.

"Bocsánat", she repeated.

"That’s what means isn’t it ....Hungarian aren’t you !" and for some strange reason , I made a action on eating when I said this ! (Dunce)

"Bocsánat", she repeated.

"Bocsánat", I beamed (my feet going nowhere).

"barg gargb wubber wubber ding a along" said a man suddenly appearing beside her.

Instinctively, I turned and headed back to my coach. I thought I heard some snickering behind me.
To this day I do NOT know whether I could have got hold of some tea in the later section on the train.

My head was full of Hungary, Bucharest and buchaaarnot, no sooner did I see my friends, I started mumbling

‘You know what just happened.....mind your language ....Hungary ....buchaaarnot.......!'.

The look on their faces and the mismatched wavelength was enough for me to stop my mumbling, though I still remained lost in Hungarian thoughts.

After a while, got up, took the left and wandering ahead. Again crossed some 5 coaches and came to the door that was not opening the night before. What I saw through it made my heart skip more than a couple of beats. That was the last coach of the train and had I managed to squeeze through it last night , I , no doubt would lie clobbered on the tracks on Nantes.

I went close to the door and peered at the fast disappearing tracks outside, my heart was in my foot now.
After gazing through it for a few moments, I recovered slightly and turned back.

As I did so I nearly crashed into a lady coming out of the train restroom. Taken aback, I stumbled backwards towards the door.

Then I saw who that lady was,

"Bocsánat", she said!!!

P.S : She still haunts me .............

Europa !

In one of the popular sitcoms 'Friends' : Joey says to Chandler that the best way to pick up someone is to narrate a fascinating story. And he begins his story by saying


'When I was backpacking through central europe....'. This sentence stuck with me , whenever I thought of europe this funny sequence used to come up to my mind.

And now my so called 'Euro-Trip' is coming to a end. I don't see myself back in Europe in the near future. Why?. Thats a whole new story , lets leave it at that for now.

Now , what do I remember when I think of Europe ?

The trips to Germany (nachwanstien,munich) , France (Paris),Switzerland(Interlaken,Luzern,Bern and Zurich) , Italy(Venice),Czech Republic (Prague) and Austria (Salzberg).......

The numerous good humoured fights between friends.- :)





The more than numerous bad humoured fights with others. - :X

The shops that close as early as 7 P.M !. - Clearly no indian businessman is well established here. :P

The Cold weather of March-April to the searing heat of June-July. - The numerous fights regarding the temperature of the AC in the office. :D

A special mention to Alison , Anabel and Aniston (speculating on the 3rd name) : The lovely Tour Guides ;)
 (Thats the new profession , Barney Stinson are you taking notes?? )








The 'oh so many ' discussions with myself ( :| and many discussions with others ( lol )

The so called Veg burger that Burger King served in Praha (yeeeech).




The 2 haircuts I had whilst I was here. : Boy o Boy

The fussball night with Manuella and Bob. Manuella beat Bob 10 to nothing , boy was that embarrasing.

The night party at cafe walch. Had a couple of Red bulls while others were having alcoholic drinks and ended up staying awake for most of the night ! :







The world cup betting program at office. Had put the money (not literally) on Holland. So near , yet so far. :(

Mind your language. Totally re-discoved this sitcom at my time here. Por forvore? :D











Falafel. The only Veg dish that the eataries make here.


The African safari and the Maruthi-800. What is this you ask ? I am sorry , there is nothing more that I could possible reveal in a public domain. :P

The junkies (hippes, call 'em what you like: Greeen,Red of Blue haired , over tattooed , drunk , satan worshiping , dog keeping 'people') that used to sit in front of KFC.











 The talk at the coffee breaks. :)


One tipsy turvy ride at Prater. (With BRAVE Anurag , who was shouting MUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY the whole ride !! )

-------------------------------------------------------------
Oh so much , but mainly I will remember the time spent with people here : Alpa,Anurag,Rahul,Raj,Sanjay,Sudhansu (in alpabetical order : Love em all you see :P)

and I will indeed remember and miss Vienna , the quiet city with an endearing charm that seeped into my heart.........

I came to europe with just one funny sequence in mind....and now I leave it with ..........




 
P.S : If I indeed have a hard time remembering things I have 50 Gigs of photos , a clear abuse of memory space I know !

P.P.S : I know there is no relation between the pictures and the text accompaning it , but then again , there was not supposed to be one either !


Aloha und Adios EUrope!!

The great 'North-South' divide!

"What are you saying you Charlie Chapathi!"
"Oh you shut up ; you Pakistani Poppadom"

These are first things that cross my mind when talking of racist taunts.
Funny scenes from 'Mind your language' no less , but I realize that racism has not stopped filtering through the generations.

What makes a certain section of people divided by geographical areas behave differently? Or do they really behave differently?
Every talk is comparable to racism. If it not Black Vs White ( or White Vs Black : Read as you pefer please!) or Indian Vs Pakistan then it boils down to
North Vs South India! ( Mind you , the atomisation doesn't stop there.)

I Shamelessly, as most , admit that I enjoy racist conversations. Casual racism dominates most coffee table or water fountain discussions.
Thats what prompted this web log in the first place. Casual racism.
Casual racism dominates most lunch / dinner talks. Yet , i KNOW the people who involve in it are not at the very least racist.
Yet (repeat ; I have stop using 'Yet' so often....Yet .....NOT yet.), people do indeed enjoy having a go at other peoples ethnicity.
Though people have little (read as : No) malice on their mind, racist talk is still popular talk.
'Timepass' as you would put it in casual terms. Casual indeed!

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, racism is a belief or ideology that all members of each racial group possess characteristics
or abilities specific to that race, especially to distinguish it as being either superior or inferior to another racial group or racial groups.
Racism indeed exists, in a sense certain sects of people do indeed pocess certain traits particular to that race / group / region / company / project .......
Gosh,there is no limit to racism!!

A certain North - South discussion (racist talk) started this web log; though I 'm NOT (usually atleast :P) a active participant in these debates,
but compliments such as 'Karnataka is a sober and peaceful state;people don't protest even when something wrong is being done' makes you wonder,
was that really a compliment? or a racist snide!.
Tell you what , I don't really have the knowledge or the 'expertise' to talk of such sensitive subjects. (sensitive ,is it ? thats a whole other point altogether).
The truth is this is just a casual talk on casual racism!.
Inspite of racist remarks And I really LOVE the people who prompted this blog because south indian respect and welcome people
(Am I being racist here :) ) and I am sure they love me too.

If someone asks describe the purpose of this blog in my own words , I would say
'EIOHHF OF DASO DFOH ODHOSH UPAIPIFGADFÖ GROHOAHF HOEHOEVDOJ EJG k FGDIGO HEO'.

I LOVE LOOPHOLES!

Adios.